Nevada's Grace
by BeckyCSI
Summary: [GSR] Summarising Grissom's feelings for Sara from the first time they met up until 'Dead Doll'. Read it and review it thats all i ask :D


_**Summary: From San Francisco to Dead Doll. It's a tad like 'You Had Me At Hello' but it focuses on their whole relationship not just the beginning. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in this Fic, they all belong to CBS and other producers that I cannot be bothered to name. I have no Beta so all mistakes are mine. **_

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_**BANG!**_

_**Explosions in my head that just won't quit a train has crashed into the wall around my heart and left the old me dead, obliterated.**_

Lectures were boring at worst and his always were, to less enthusiastic kids anyway. He only agreed to these things when the time suited him and he needed a break from the lab. As interesting as the back stories can be, triple homicides _do_ get boring.

This class looked exceptionally more interested than the last three and that was only because more than half of the applied students had arrived this time. As stupid as it was, he could have sworn one of the students had come more than once. It was hard to determine really, the kids were like the dead bodies he came into contact with, once they had been solved or in this case lectured, they were just another face. How was he to know? _The attendance list_.

Of course the one time he actually found a class intellectual enough to pick at his brain, the few hours had gone incredibly fast. Well it was a lie to say the _whole_ class was intellectual, it was more like the one student. To be honest, her mind could have given his own a run for its money. Not that he'd ever admit it. Just like that her face was similar; she'd been in his last two classes. Sat in middle of the second row, probably to be less conspicuous. Why though? Each class was based on exactly the same thing as the previous and even he would find himself talking to be rather boring. Now the rest of the class has left and she's walking over to him. _Great._

_Wow._ Okay so he'd never known someone to ask so many questions about Anthropology but it was a good test for him, maybe telling him that he needs to brush up on the subject. It wasn't his speciality anyway; there are other people that can do that stuff. It's the same story when someone needs an Entomologist.

"Sorry, but what was your name again?" He felt bad for forgetting already but she was more than intelligent, she was _beautiful._

"Sara Sidle. It's okay." Her radiant smile revealed the gap in her teeth.

Another thing Gil Grissom loved.

_**STOP!  
My breathing in the night when you're not there the silence ringing through my ears and all I want to do is hear your voice but you're not there**_

Leaving San Francisco came sooner than he wanted, it undoubtedly sucked. Just when your getting somewhere with someone. What was he trying to do? Make himself feel 18 again? She was too young for him. Everything he'd ever want in a woman but can't bring himself to ask for it.

They kept in touch but it was never the same as to when they had long conversations about cases over coffee. He actually enjoyed her company, not something he could say all the time. An hour maximum he could stand to be with someone for, maybe a little longer if they're fairly close to him. Emotionally not physically. Grissom had friends, not many though. He didn't have tonnes when he was younger, why start now? It was the smart thing to do, keeping yourself detached from as many people as possible. You only end up getting hurt.

Each day is getting more and more like the last day. She's always in his head. How does she do it? _It's annoying._ The worst arrives and now he needs to call her in, Sara is the only person he trusts for this type of case. He'll do it, for the investigation and maybe just a little for himself.

She's here, in the flesh. Sara looks better since he'd last seen her. All he needed to hear was her voice, she came at his call. He knew she'd come, they both had worked a case before and admitted they worked better than they usually do. This case is coming to a close, once again the best but worst thing was ending way too quickly. Emailing each other is where they'll return but he changes his mind there's only one other option.

"There's a spare position available and you're the only person I'd want to fill it. You'd be a real value to the team." It's like he's running on a motor mouth, this couldn't be a good thing for him but for the lab it would be the best.

"You want me to join your team? I'm pretty sure that's the last thing your team want to happen right now." Now his team has made her feel rejected. Once again, _great. _She's too valuable to let go.

"They can warm up to you, please?" One step away from begging on the floor.

"Yeah okay, I'd be happy to work with you." Oh the Sara smile.

Grissom can work his way around this, he wanted her for the job, nothing more.

_**GO!  
And take away the pain of being me soothe my soul, caress my heart and end my fear, all my bad memories, eradicated**_

The lab is now in pieces, _literally._ No thanks to Catherine. He's not blaming her though he knows it was an accident. Greg is seriously injured in the hospital and Ecklie is now angrier than ever. Surprisingly enough Grissom didn't think it was possible. He was the least of his problems. The sheriff is on his back as well.

Most sounds become muffled and lip reading is the closet he can come to understanding what his team are saying. His impending hearing problem is becoming increasingly obvious. Just to make current events considerably more distressing, she's at his door while he's searching for a doctor in his rolodex.

One of them has the courage the other is willing to run. She' going to go all or nothing and at the risk of bruising his super sized, bug infested ego, he'll be content with a simple answer that could possibly hurt her.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?"

"No." Well that could have came out smoother, he had to say no just to make sure she didn't know about his insecurities.

"Come on, let's go to dinner... see what happens." He can see the hurt in her eyes now, Gil Grissom isn't a man of many words, not ones that spare your feelings anyway.

"I... don't know what to do about this." Yeah he does but he's afraid on a number of levels.

"I do. And when you finally figure it out, you might be too late." Another sentence to make you want to jump off a rather tall building. There's plenty in Las Vegas but then she'll probably investigate his suicide. There's no escaping her.

OIS, A.K.A Officer involved shooting. This is probably one of the hardest cases to solve. Just to make it worse, it has to be a bank robbery. One with very little evidence. For once his migraines haven't decided to rear their ugly head; instead his hearing is becoming atrocious. This time he'll blame it on the case. He's not sure on how long he can hide this from his team.

The most embarrassing thing is sitting in a hospital gown; it's breezy in all the wrong places. It's okay though because he's alone, there you go, he's alone again. Turning his head, Catherine's standing there. Grissom's smiling inside but that voice in his head is telling him he'd rather see Sara standing there. A nurse is arriving and she's pushing a wheelchair. So what, he's in a hospital and suddenly he's an invalid?

"I don't need that." He could see Catherine smiling, unsure as to whether it's because he still chooses to do things by himself or because his arse is on show.

She's the only one to know he's here and he knows that she'll keep it a secret so showing his vulnerable side for a couple of minutes will be okay.

_**RING!  
Like gunshots herd against the silent night my love is louder than these words. They're stronger than the rest, unstoppable  
Unstoppable**_

Completely unaware that she'd over heard his confession of why he could risk everything to be with her, he felt better that he got it off his chest, felt worse that he was a comparison to a murderer. He could see himself in Lurie. The only difference is that Grissom can't give up everything he's worked for, knowing that it's all he's ever really wanted. There are ways around it but he was blind to them.

He knows too much to let go now. She's opened up to him and he's amazed at how he hadn't pieced it together before. She was the last person he'd expect to get a DUI. He was angry at her stupidity but he cared for her and realised if she wasn't stopped she could have hurt herself or someone else. There was something bothering her and he needed to sort it out before she could do anymore harm.

If that didn't wake him up then surely Sara being attacked in a mental hospital did. He knew about her traumatic childhood, Ecklie was threatening to fire her and once again instead of shouting at her, he comforted her only this time at her apartment. Arguing with her wasn't the answer. Nick's kidnap put perspective on his feelings, this could have happened to her. He always thought about what it would look like, what it would taste like, what it would feel like, what it would be like to love her.

It makes sense now. How did he hold out for so long? Now everything was here. Jim was in hospital recovering from being shot, his oldest friend was alive. _Thank God_. Sara was back on track and here he was happier than ever. Why? Grissom had accepted their situation after years of turmoil and hurt, they were finally together. After news had spread that Jim was okay he reflected on his own fatality. Wearing his most hideous shirt made him grin when he was feeling at his best.

"I dunno. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose... and never know that it is happening. Like a crime scene: 'Surprise! You're dead!' I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer, actually. Have some time to prepare. Go back to the rainforest one more time, re-read _Moby Dick_. Possibly enter an international chess tournament. At least have enough time to say goodbye to the people I love." She walked into the bedroom wearing her bath robe and his face lit up. What was he talking about again?

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." Those words meant everything to him; she was forgiving him on how he took so long to confront his feelings. Every time he saw her, he was glad he wasn't too late.

_**Like the rising tide, beating hearts grow but never die, to simplify, I'll stand by your side, close my eyes, hope will never die**_

All possibilities of things going wrong were in motion and he was so close to tears. Why now? Sara was in danger, cold and alone. Again, _great. _His motor mouth took control again and everyone finally knows about the two. Their relationship, their jobs and more importantly, Sara's life was in the balance.

Flash floods and heavy downpour couldn't have sounded less appealing in Las Vegas. The search was on, dozens of black and whites, CSI Denali's, Helicopters and ambulances racing around the desert looking for one person. Grissom was still on the verge of tears. The last few words that made him smile before he got into this mess, _'Hello Gilbert.' _ It was all he could want to remember without showing signs of weakness to his team. He had to be strong for Sara.

They found the car, the car that was surrounded in sand and no sin of her. Nick held something up and there it is 'S-I-D-L-E.'

'_Shit!' _

Footprints never looked so attractive. He followed them, there are three rocks stacked unusually. There's a clue, she has to be alive. The sun looked even brighter than it did five minutes ago, it's still not good. Scared to death about whether he'll lose her came quickly, he could see a body and instantly thought it was her's. Relief rushed over him when Catherine confirmed it wasn't, Sara is still out there though.

She lay so still, half of her shirt wrapped around her head and the other half made into a make shift sling. Her arm was clearly broken. Multiple cuts and bruises lined her face and he still managed to see the beauty through them. Sara was soaking wet, Nick and Sofia's attempt to re-hydrate her. Grissom felt so helpless, she wasn't conscious. They carried her body to the rescue helicopter and he insisted going with her to the hospital.

The closest contact he could have with her was holding her limp hand. Her eyes shifted and they slowly opened focussing on anything in front of her.

'G-R-I-S-S-O-M' The only person she could possibly wish was with her, the only word that could give her some comfort was right there smiling sheepishly at her.

Another thing Sara Sidle loved.

_**Drawn together  
Painter's brush stoke  
Sleight of hand  
We won't go up in smoke  
Fates colliding  
Love undying**_

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_**A/n: Thank you to all the people that had read everything I've wrote so far. I think I need to start a case based story but unfortunately my writing streak will slow down as I now have to complete a forensic science course. **_

_**The lyrics in bold, italic and underline are from a song by Atreyu – When two are one. It's from their new album and I must say I'm very impressed with their style change. **_


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